Pleasure Cruise

Posted on January 19th, 2014
Pleasure CruisePleasure Cruise by Mandy Roth, Michelle Pillow
Series: Pleasure Cruise #1
Published by Raven Books in 2005
Genres: Paranormal Erotic Romance
Pages: 144
Mode of travel: Ship
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one-star

*** This book is in the erotic romance genre and is intended for adults only, This review is also explicit ***

Clare needs to loosen up and have some fun--not to mention some hot sex with someone other than herself. Her best friend, Kira, knows exactly what she needs--a vacation full of hunky single men who'll knock her panties off. When she booked the cruise for Clare's birthday, the travel agent left out one tiny detail. It's a supernatural cruise, and they aren't getting off until they're married.

The powers that be are tired of waiting for the supernatural to find their own mates and reproduce. In a desperate act to get the dwindling population back up, they've decided to take matters into their own hands. Dominik, a lycan, and Braden, a vampire, are just the two perfect candidates to start this experiment. They're sexy, in the prime of their reproductive immortal lives and ready to mate--just as soon as they can seduce their unsuspecting brides, or at the very least, keep them from swimming back to shore.

I honestly didn’t have high literary expectations of this book. The most I asked of it was that it should gratify the erotic tastes of heterosexual women. If it had done so, I would have given it five stars or at least four. It didn’t and to be honest I had to force myself to finish it, in the hope of writing a rant piece of enlightened criticism through which we might aspire to better porn erotic romances.

This is for heterosexual women??!!! – It reads like a GUY’S wet dream of hot and horny women. My mistake maybe, but something about book’s presentation had signaled to me it was meant for women. So just look at what it offers us by way of foreplay: the details of a bikini waxing session, followed by a display of the heroines’ respective taste in lingerie. Then, about 10 pages of a woman masturbating. What part of that is supposed to turn straight women on? How about some focus on the guys? I mean if you want to be really cliched about it, you could even show them sweating it out in the gym. Though I’d prefer something a bit less cliched, to be honest. This book continues in the same vein throughout except it gets worse.

It’s rapey – Two women get on a ship planning to get laid which is fine, and end up having sex with guys who were not specifically of their choosing, getting into forced marriages, and pregnant against their wills and despite their precautions. I truly don’t understand the purpose of an unwanted pregnancy in an ‘erotic romance’ meant for my gratification, even if it was an accident on both sides. But it isn’t. The whole thing is really, really rapey, and rape turns me off. It doesn’t stop there.

Many times, it’s really obvious that the women, while turned on, wouldn’t choose to have sex at the moment, in this way with that person. Rape is still rape if a woman is turned on when she says no for whatever reasons she pleases. Ugh, total turn off. I think I’m put off sex for a week.

The most paranormal thing about the guys is their ability to use mental powers to stop the women from thinking. That’s about the same as slipping drugs into a girl’s drink so that she isn’t able to think about whether she wants sex or not. That’s rape and rape turns me off. Did I mention that?

A post about something that didn't float my boat.This So Doesn’t Float My Boat!

Minor stupidity which turns me off – The guys do that horrible possessive sexual jealousy thing. It turns me off. They do the dominant male thing. It turns me off. The women do that falling in luuuurve after spending 30 minutes in the company of a guy with muscles. It turns me off. Being dominated makes them feel empowered!!!!! I don’t know what to say. Hey, at the end they even get their clothes chosen for them based on what species their guys are….

‘Kay, I’m done now… Want to tell me what I should read instead, next time I find myself all alone for a week?